I Believe

I know that you're constant
in an ever-changing world.
I know that you're comfort
in relentless, raging storms.
And I know that you're hope
when nothing's worth fighting for.

But when things change
sometimes I panic
When storms rage
sometimes I hide
And when i can't see past the pain
sometimes i close my eyes

I believe,
help me with my unbelief.

by: me

Empty Pages

I flip through empty pages
twirl pens still full of ink
too hard to force myself to feel;
to force myself to think.

Line by line the emptiness
makes me rethink my life
no tear-stained entries to relive;
no happiness, no strife.

Just unrecorded moments
of feelings left unsaid
Unsure of what the past has taught;
Unsure of what's ahead.

by:me

Dad

I didn’t know how to smile
Until you smiled at me
And I didn’t know how to laugh
Until your joy filled up my soul
And I couldn’t even walk
Until you took my hand to guide me
And I’m not sure how to keep on walking
Without you here beside me
But when you spoke of love
You spoke of one eternal
And I never had to wonder
It was right there In your eyes
And everyday you’d smile
Just one day closer to glory
And I don’t have to listen very hard
To hear the angel’s uproarious applause
'Cause when you sang to Jesus
It was heaven here on earth
And when you gave to others
You gave everything you were
And you’ll live on here forever
Through all the lives you touched
And you’ll never be forgotten
Because you were loved that much
And I’ll always be your little girl
For every day I live
And I’ll not forget your love for my mom
Every time I watched you kiss
And I’ll always see your beautiful eyes
In the face of my baby brother
And I’ll always see your passionate spirit
In your feisty eldest daughter
And I love you with everything that I am
But Jesus loves you more
And we know that you loved Jesus
With all your heart and soul
So, we know that you were wonderful
But Jesus saw it too
And He looked down from Heaven
And couldn’t live one more day without you.

by:me

How far...

How far does love go?
How hard does it try?
Can it withstands the tests
of distance and time?
Does it sacrifice wants?
Is it willing to fight?
How far does love go?

by: me

what we're meant for

love and spontaneity
dreams and everlasting
joy and all the laughter
that's what we were meant for

dancing in the clouds
exploring secrets of the ocean
hearts that beat together
those are what we long for

big cars and bigger houses
someone to take the trash out
relationships at best, unsure
is what we end up settling for

by:me

I crumble under weighted stares
That remind me of past pain and fears
The resurfacing is worse I think
Than initial tears that stain the cheeks
The saltier each one becomes
The deeper the grave it's dug up from

by me

It Can't Always Be...

It can't always be
It can't always turn
into forever
it can't always stick
it can't always last
into enternity
it can't always be...

by me

Weathering Love

The wind has grown much colder here today
chilled by all the hurtful things you never failed to say
and laced with bitter memories that just won't go away.
The sun has lost itself behind a cloud
hiding from the world all of the rays that make it proud
and your love was just as stifling, filled with broken vows.
The ground has grown so hard beneath my feet
losing all the comfort of the plushy grass and earthy heat
like you stole the spontaneity of love, and reduced it to a package nice and neat.

This weather takes the moisture from my skin

dry hands, dry lips, dry heart; nothing can get in.

the only trace of moisture is a tear- a salty, bitter end.

by:me

Describe Love

There must be a word;
a phrase; an equation-
or simply a brief explanation.

A way in which I might convey;
might get across; or just suggest-
the way I feel inside.

It can't just be a gentle flutter;
a raging fire; a sense of wonder-
that words cannot express.

Then how would i tell it?
Describe it? Revive it?
When all I want to do is shout it?

by:me

Despite all the adversity
and those who look down their nose at me
I still believe predictability-
is really rather boring.



**A thought from me**

We Belong Together

What good is a life
With no one to share
The light of the moon
The honor of a swear
Will you try to live the way of which you speak
Taste the milk of your mother earth's love
Spread the word of consciousness you see
We are everything we need
We belong together
Like the open seas and shores
Wedded by the planet's force
We've all been spoken for
All this indecision
All this independent strain
Still, we've got our hearts on save, we've got our hearts on save
Someday when you're lonely
Sometime after all this bliss
Somewhere lost in emptiness
I hope you find this gift

Gavin Degraw

Dreams

If dreams are the impossible
And aren't entirely probable
Then dreams can't be unstoppable
And who would want to dream?

If dreams are so impossible
Then hope and love aren't plausible
And dreams would never be sensible
And who would want to dream?

If dreams must be impossible
Then dreamers are irresponsible
And the heart can't be reliable
And who would want to dream?

But if dreams conquer the impossible
And live out the incomprehensible
And make all wishes tangible
Then all would love to dream.


by: me

To Question Love

Where is love if not the heart
if not in every beat
if not the very life in you
what holds love from retreat?

But what is love if only lost
if swiftly swept away
if all you hold so dear to you
can fade within a day?

And when does love fade from the heart
if taken, but still remains
if it steals your very breath from you
when do you love without pain?

And how is love worth all the risk
if hearts just beat to suffer
if pain just grips and suffocates
what does love have to offer?

Yet, when is love worth all the risk
if it gives wings to fly
if it holds the key to every heart
how can love not be our lives?

-by:me

I'm a journeyer
a dreamer
i'm a passionate believer
and the world...
it tries it's best to box me in.

so i'm tearing down
the walls around me
breaking free of things
that i don't want to be

by: me

A Vessel

I am a vessel
ready to be used by you
I am your servant
no matter what you have me do
So take my life, Lord
and make it Thine
Because you gave me Yours
and the least that I can do
is give you mine.

by:me

DARK

It’s dark in here
And I can’t breath.
I gasp for air
And try to make out what hides
in the fuzzy blackness that surrounds me.
My thoughts are loud
Pounding in my head.
The noise is deafening
And I can’t seem to make out a single word that is said.
I flinch
At the intensity of pain.
Physically, emotionally
And I’m tired of this carefree attitude I feign.
The ground is cold
But soothes my tear stained cheek.
Curl up tighter
Try to find a little of the comfort that I seek.
I feel alone
Who could understand?
They try
But it’s out of their hands.
Don’t let go
Don’t stop believing.
I desperately reach out
Trying to break through all the grieving.
Toss and turn
Lay deathly still.
I just can’t seem to sleep
And there seems no way to heal.
Don’t cry
No more tears.
They don’t help the pain
They just intensify the fears.

by: me

Broken Dreams

When tears fall hard on broken dreams
And broken promises are finally seen
The shattered soul runs from the only comfort it's ever known.
In empty beds, on sleepless nights
Lay hurting hearts that wait for light
A shivering body seeks for warmth that is no longer there.
A familiar smell that fills the senses
A past of memories no longer welcome
For love is now betrayal in a hurt and broken heart.
Finding a smile hard to fake
When polite hellos are hard to take
Torn between the need to love and the need to run away.
When loneliness fills every space
And tears with anger no longer laced
Healing begins as every piece is put back into place.

I Don't Know How

Somehow when you looked at me you always made me smile...
You made me laugh, you made me dream...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you held me all the world just disappeared...
You made me love, you made me feel...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you took my hand you also took my heart...
You made me try, you made me strive...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you spoke of Christ it echoed in your eyes...
You made me trust, you made me believe...
And now I don't know how.

I don't know how to love without your love surrounding me.
And i don't know how to dream without your heart supporting me.
And when I look down at my hands, they just look cold and lost...
without your warmth to guide me, I don't know what to trust.
And I miss the way your heart believed without a single doubt...
for since your gone i find i question all my faith's about.

Because when I wake up in the morning, i want to see your face.
And when I go to bed at night, I want your arms holding me in place.
So, how do i cry without crying on your shoulder?
and Where do i look if not into you eyes?
And when does my heart ever stop hurting?
How do i live without you by my side?
I Don't know how.

by: me

Love

It's a feeling. Only felt.
indescribable and indefinable.
This attention grabbing and unyielding joy.
It surges through me just at the sound of your voice.
It's a crazy and wonderful reaction to you laugh,
your smile, your love for life.
A frame of mind I can't escape
I don't just sense it, but experience it.
I see the precious and priceless treasure that you are.
I feel unworthy, but yet yearn for that worth.
It gives me capacity to experience higher emotions.
It's a passion. A flood in my heart.
An overwhelming appreciation for an admirable person of God.
A stirring thrill of a feverish rush.
it's intoxicating.
I'm immovable. Stuck.
I'm in love!

by: me