Wednesday, December 21, 2005

A Vessel

I am a vessel
ready to be used by you
I am your servant
no matter what you have me do
So take my life, Lord
and make it Thine
Because you gave me Yours
and the least that I can do
is give you mine.


Sunday, December 11, 2005


It’s dark in here
And I can’t breath.
I gasp for air
And try to make out what hides
in the fuzzy blackness that surrounds me.
My thoughts are loud
Pounding in my head.
The noise is deafening
And I can’t seem to make out a single word that is said.
I flinch
At the intensity of pain.
Physically, emotionally
And I’m tired of this carefree attitude I feign.
The ground is cold
But soothes my tear stained cheek.
Curl up tighter
Try to find a little of the comfort that I seek.
I feel alone
Who could understand?
They try
But it’s out of their hands.
Don’t let go
Don’t stop believing.
I desperately reach out
Trying to break through all the grieving.
Toss and turn
Lay deathly still.
I just can’t seem to sleep
And there seems no way to heal.
Don’t cry
No more tears.
They don’t help the pain
They just intensify the fears.

by: me

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Broken Dreams

When tears fall hard on broken dreams
And broken promises are finally seen
The shattered soul runs from the only comfort it's ever known.
In empty beds, on sleepless nights
Lay hurting hearts that wait for light
A shivering body seeks for warmth that is no longer there.
A familiar smell that fills the senses
A past of memories no longer welcome
For love is now betrayal in a hurt and broken heart.
Finding a smile hard to fake
When polite hellos are hard to take
Torn between the need to love and the need to run away.
When loneliness fills every space
And tears with anger no longer laced
Healing begins as every piece is put back into place.

Friday, December 02, 2005

I Don't Know How

Somehow when you looked at me you always made me smile...
You made me laugh, you made me dream...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you held me all the world just disappeared...
You made me love, you made me feel...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you took my hand you also took my heart...
You made me try, you made me strive...
And now I don't know how.
Somehow when you spoke of Christ it echoed in your eyes...
You made me trust, you made me believe...
And now I don't know how.

I don't know how to love without your love surrounding me.
And i don't know how to dream without your heart supporting me.
And when I look down at my hands, they just look cold and lost...
without your warmth to guide me, I don't know what to trust.
And I miss the way your heart believed without a single doubt...
for since your gone i find i question all my faith's about.

Because when I wake up in the morning, i want to see your face.
And when I go to bed at night, I want your arms holding me in place.
So, how do i cry without crying on your shoulder?
and Where do i look if not into you eyes?
And when does my heart ever stop hurting?
How do i live without you by my side?
I Don't know how.

by: me

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


It's a feeling. Only felt.
indescribable and indefinable.
This attention grabbing and unyielding joy.
It surges through me just at the sound of your voice.
It's a crazy and wonderful reaction to you laugh,
your smile, your love for life.
A frame of mind I can't escape
I don't just sense it, but experience it.
I see the precious and priceless treasure that you are.
I feel unworthy, but yet yearn for that worth.
It gives me capacity to experience higher emotions.
It's a passion. A flood in my heart.
An overwhelming appreciation for an admirable person of God.
A stirring thrill of a feverish rush.
it's intoxicating.
I'm immovable. Stuck.
I'm in love!

by: me